Dealing with Difficult People

This page is a collection of thoughts, principles and resources for learning how to deal with difficult people.

  1. Understand first that conflict between people is a result and reflection of the conflict between God and Satan.
  2. Secondly, you need to understand difficult people are being used by Satan in effort to create a sense of fear, doubt in God’s purpose, and hope for the future.  Work diligently to avoid the temptation to handle these problems as personal attacks from people.
  3. Thirdly, you will find several files/tools below that can help you sort through what you can do, and shouldn’t do in effort to bring resolution.
  4. First a few Scriptures:
  •  Matt 10:34-39 – 34 “Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. 35 For I have come to turn “‘a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law— 
    36 a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’  37 “Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; 38 and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. 39 Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.  BECAUSE THERE IS A BATTLE GOING ON!
  • Eph 5:15-6:12   Be very careful, then, how you live — not as unwise but as wise, 16 making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. 17 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. 18 Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit. 19 Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, 20 always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.  21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. … 22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. …  25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,  33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. 6 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother”-which is the first commandment with a promise— 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”  4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.  5 Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ.  9 And masters, treat your slaves in the same way. 10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.  THE BREAK DOWN OF AUTHORITY IS A DIRECT RESULT OF THE BATTLE
  •  Rom 12:17-21 –   Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. 20 On the contrary:  “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.  In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head  Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.  THE BEST WAY TO RECOVER FROM EVIL IS TO DO GOOD IN THE EYES OF GOD!
  • An interactive tract to guide you through an evaluation process of handling the conflict: “a test of love tract” 
  • Difficult people may be driven by personality issues, family, school or work dynamics.  It is also important to realize that communication methods, potential sinful attitudes, and most definitely Satan’s intention to divide people and complicate issues will be involved in this process.
  • Some good reads that could be helpful:
  1.  Deadly Emotions by Dr. Don Cobert      
  2.  Spiritual Warfare by Karl Payne      
  3.  Crazy Makers by Paul Meier MD & Robert Wise Phd       
  4.  When Helping Hurts by Steve Corbet & Brian Frikkert
  5. Anger – a self assessment and Scriptures: Anger
  • Helpful articles #1
  • Helpful articles #2
  • Helpful articles #3
  • Helpful articles #4

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